I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
