Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
