Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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