You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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