yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
