Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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