My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
