Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
