And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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