he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize