at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
