There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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