I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize