new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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