i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
