I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
