thus making me awesome and them whores
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
