Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
