im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
