No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize