In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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