i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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