Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
if only i could text you this smell
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂