last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i only shaved half my leg
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD