Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

Welcome to every minute of my life.

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(319): View more from Iowa

went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.

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(207): View more from Maine

I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

of course. lets lasso hookers.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.

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(498): View more from

You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.

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(706): View more from Georgia

When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.

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(845): View more from New York

Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin

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