i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
