Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
