ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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