wat bout pragnant strippers??
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
