Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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