I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
