this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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