apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
