ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
