All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
