i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
