If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
