I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
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