I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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