I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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