we made out on top of his cat.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
