Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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