We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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