Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
