"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
