i will never coherently bang her
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
