When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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