Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.