so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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