My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
