What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
