True but thats because hes a fetus.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
