so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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