garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I want to have your abortion
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
