I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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