my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
