whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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