Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
